Things a Mother Might Ask

It’s still hard for me to understand the political things going on over here in Beirut but the one thing I for sure understand is how much I do not like it. For some it’s very easy to say leave. It’s not easy to leave when you have made your home in another place. It is not easy to just pick up and start all over again from square one. Last summer was very difficult for us due to the war that Israel had started. Sure there are those that say the one group started it by kidnapping their soldiers but the truth be known, Israel has been kidnapping the Lebanese for quite some time now and their actions are ignored and unpunished. But now it’s a bit more different. Now, it’s getting to the verge of like a civil war so to speak. This is actually worse than the other because it is unpredictable. Last night there was a huge bombing in an area near to my home. The blast shook through too our section. Verdun, the area bombed, is a place we usually go for shopping or the arcade or the movies …you get the picture. I don’t usually hang out there on a daily basis but this is part of my neighborhood still the same. I called my sister in law and the blast woke her up and she looked out of her window and could see the fire and smoke from her window. She is a little more closer than I am to the blast area so I was concerned. Today I have her son with me in my home as we both opted to not send our children to school today. If anything were to happen, I prefer that they be with me. I envision them being at school or on their way home from school and maybe something happens. If that happens and they cry for me, I won’t be able to help them. It hurts my heart to see people destroying a beautiful country. I am at odds with my husband about leaving here and not returning. Everything he assumed wouldn’t be happening is happening and he is faced with having to honor a statement. Unfortunately the decision isn’t so easy now that this day has arrived and I expressed my wish to return home to the states. Granted things happen in the US, the most recent being the disturbed person that killed all those students. Their usually aren’t bombings in the states unless it’s some type of medical clinic and random shootings don’t happen very often. I told him that even if something happened in the states, the odds are better of it not happening to us because the US is a much bigger place than Lebanon. Either way, I am just scared. Scared mostly for my children. Scared of sending them off to school and they never return. Scared that they will be in a situation crying out for me because they themselves are scared and I am not there to help them. It worries me too much. Sure a mother worries all of the time and I feel for the older women here that went through many years of war with their own children and now, those children are raising children of their own with the situation getting worse. These people seriously need anger management and they need to quit fighting. How can they expect people to be sensitive to their plight if they entice violence? All in all, Lebanon is beautiful as are most of the people here. Most here work just like anyone else to support their families and give them the best they can in this life. No one asks for this. I just can not wait to go home for a while and sit by the river or lake and go fishing with my mom. I can’t wait to drive out to the strawberry patches and watch my dad help my little guys pick strawberries. And I can’t wait to see my daughters friends face when we show up to surprise her.

Photo Credit: CNN.COM