Things a Mother Might Ask

It must be scary to read the paper and see events happening in a part of the world where you know someone that actually lives there. For me, I am that person that some, not all, worry about. I do try to ease the fears that my family has for me but it is hard to explain things if the person has never even been to this part of the world that I live in. I live in Beirut and yes in recent weeks there have been troubles and I would be lying if I said it did not scare me in some way or another.

People express anger in many ways and over here one of the ways is unfortunately not a really good one. It is also hard to swallow the fact that your own home country “meddles” a lot and is part of the reason for the troubles. Though we won’t see it outlined detail by detail in the trusty black and white lettering or the rapid red bar at the bottom of a news screen, the issues are real and my country does have it’s hand in more than one cookie jar. Talk about being greedy.

I love my country and have defended my country in service. I guess you never really have that awakening until you venture beyond safe and shielded borders. News casts over here are very real with nothing, as far as I know “edited” out. My first experience being in Africa with Al Jazeera. Has anyone ever wondered why they wouldn’t run Al Jazeera in English in the states? I do not know if that is the case now but it was the case and it should have raised a lot of questions by my fellow countrymen. Some people have lots of not so nice things to say to someone like me until they find out my background and then when they do, they like to say, “Well, that’s different.”

What makes it so different? The fact that you now know I served my country during it’s first invasion of Iraq? What makes me different?
This question eats away at me when I feel I need to “explain” myself because I wear a hijab. I have often wondered how people pick and choose. Living in Beirut has shown me that it isn’t like what we are told though there are things that happen here.

Most recently there were gun battles between two groups. In the US people probably would have heard it was a religious dispute but it was anything but that. It was political. Now politics is something that not a whole lot of people are truly familar with unless it is almost time to vote and even then when you try to understand everything it just jumbles your head and makes you dizzy.

My favorite statement that I hear all the time when I venture back home for a visit is this, “If they hate Americans so much, why do they come here.” Let’s see. First I would like to know how many people that make that statement have been to the foreign country they claim makes this statement. Second, how many have had it said to their face?

I live here and have been even to Iraq during this current occupation of it and never have been told, “I hate you American”. It’s quite the opposite. Though, there are groups out there that literally hate everything we stand for in America but these same people, as someone close pointed out to me, would jump at the chance at a free visa or passport to the very same country they claim to hate. So do they say it as a way to survive? A way to fit in? How many people in our land say or do things just to survive or fit in with the group? Show of hands please.

I have been living in the Middle East since 2005 and have been front row to a war and labor and political disputes. I am still alive. I practiced good safety. I mean, if my US Embassy of all places is not evacuating it’s American Citizen Employees, then it must not be all that bad. It’s just scary. Scary mostly because I have children and believe that if they do not have to live like this here and can live elsewhere why not leave.

I made my home here but my heart longs to be home during the tense times. I would rather be fishing instead of listening to people fighting. Why don’t I come home?

Well, it’s not easy for me. It’s not easy for a lot of Americans that venture here. I know a lot actually that once they get here, it’s hard to leave. The people are beautiful and welcoming. The culture is rich with pride. Lebanon is not a desert. People where I live do not live in tents (that is the most ignorant line I hear all the time). I live in a nice flat. I can call upon my neighbor any time of the day or night should I need help. If I am late to pick up my children downstairs, my neighbor will bring them up as she also brings her children. The people love children and would do anything to protect them. Unfortunately, there are those sour apples in the bag that like to ruin peoples happy lives.

I believe we have a few of those in America do we not? My family worries and I often find myself defending things all the time. My mother lives in a small village in NY and there are child molestors and drug dealers within a few steps from her home. I can say that here I have not even heard of such things happening but how safe are my kids living in the middle of two evils?

At least here dodging a bullet (which we don’t have to because we stay inside and away from the windows) which is happens rarely is the extreme of what I have to deal with.

Sort of a harsh way to put it but there is so much child abuse in the area of NY my family lives in. So it’s almost like the saying, clean up your own backyard first. My husband is from Lebanon and even through all the awful things here he still loves his country as he should. I would wonder what is wrong with him if he didn’t. But he also loves my country. It’s my home.

Anyhow, there are a lot of different things to say about life over here. But I think I can save that for another time. I leave you with this…question everything and educate yourself.

Make sure you see both sides and understand it before making that immediate judgement because someone says to you, “those people are the enemy”.

Some of the worst enemies are the ones that claim to be our friends.

Photo by Maryam (this is a next door to a clinic we go to for medical care..they destroyed this building solely because they hate the man that helped to open it. A lot of the destruction I saw reminded me of clashes like during the Rodney King incident. Photo taken on 10 May 2008)